That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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