I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
