Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
