I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
