After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
do herpes really smell.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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