She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Actions speak louder than pants.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
