You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Let's paint friendship bongs
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
