My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
