Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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