Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
