he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
