I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
