idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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