I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
