what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sext me about skeletons
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
