yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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