Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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