AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
