I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
