I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
