It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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