just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
