NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
