...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
