We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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