What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
