I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
