9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
