no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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