My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
