One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
