Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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