matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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