It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Shame - the story of my life.
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