WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
