I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
