they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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