I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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