Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
