My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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