i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
