Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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