Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
