i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
