I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
