I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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