but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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