wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
