I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
