Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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