i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
