we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
